So much fail.

[tuesdayficarchived]

So my lost purse with my debit card (now hot carded) and I think with A Movable Feast (thankfully already finished, though I'm one of the few in my class who likes it, damn it)? Also had my flash drive in it. And I hadn't sent important paper to my prof while all fucked up with sleep dep like I thought I had. And it was only on that lost flashdrive.

So! I'll be writing more than one paper while staying up tonight. What does this additional bit of stress mean? My loss is your gain.

Drabble trading. Yes, I know I had prompts open, but they're closed except to someone who'd asked about a fandom before I wrote this entry. This is more stress than usual, and I need something to keep me from hiding in the library basement's bathroom and never, ever, ever coming out again. There are sinks in that bathroom, and a surprisingly clean floor. I could make it until starvation set in, and so few people come along it would be years before they found my body.

You write me one drabble (and I'll be loose in the definition of this), and I'll write you two--basically, I write one, you write one, I give you another. Rinse and repeat for however long you like. I'm crossposting this with my fandom journal.

And . . . go!

ETA: Tomorrow, 4/24/2008, at 11:59:59 p.m., the drabble trade will officially be Over. By which I mean I will answer any submitted before that time with the two to one deal, but merely admire and feedback any submitted after. Because of this, you can submit as many as you want without waiting for me to catch up (and even make vague suggestions I might follow for my responses). So. Last chance. TWO TO ONE. GO!

(If I'm flooded, I'm going to try to have all my responses back by the end of finals, but I make no guarantees other than there will be responses to everything submitted before 12:00:00 4/25.)

Closed

Comments

Re: My drabble - let me shows you it

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

If he wore them. Which he totally didn't. Not even out of curiosity and only for a very brief moment. Because he's not That Type of Queer except how he totally would be if it didn't make Jordan so hot and bothered.

Re: My drabble - let me shows you it

[lizfu.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised Jordan didn't find a way to make Ezra wear those shoes. Not even a prank?

Re: My drabble - let me shows you it

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

. . . If you want more drabbles, you have to pay for them. Then there might be Ezra in pretteh, smexy shoes in the future. >_>

Re: My drabble - let me shows you it

[lizfu.livejournal.com]

You know how to do business well ;_;

Much longer than a drabble ;_; LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!

---

Title: Lee's Pretty Shirt: the real reason Lee left Galactica. OR Gay Shirt of Gayness +5: Roll for Save, Gaius Baltar!

"I love you, Lee Adama!" The voice was high but masculine. Definitely not a woman's unless that woman was Kara Thrace. Which it wasn't.

From his place in the canteen, Lee sighed and shoved the drink that had just been brought to him - "Complements of a secret admirer," the barman had said - as far away from him as possible, which happened to be towards his ex-wife.

"Gaius Baltar is staring at us," Dee announced, picking up the glass.

"I don't want to know." He reached out and grabbed the drink as Dee brought it to her lips. "Don't drink that!" he hissed. "You don't know what he could've put in there!"

The disgust wrinkled on her face. "You're right. It could have an aphrodisiac."

Lee glared over his shoulder. Baltar waved and blew him a kiss. Oh Gods of Kobol....His cult bunny escort - small breasts, dark hair, pale skin, maybe a year or two short of legal, though Lee really didn't want to know - returned Lee's glare. He would have to lock his door tonight.

"It's the shirt," Dee told him, in her matter-of-fact voice. "I told you when you picked it up at that market that it would make you look-"

"It does not," he growled in a whisper, hunching towards her and giving her a desperate look to say no more. "It's...fashionable."

"And this is why I divorced you.

He frowned and looked down at the shirt, his fingers tracing the v neckline. "Look, just because Gaius Baltar -"

"And Felix and Karl and-"

Dee stopped, her eyes falling on something behind him. He turned around.

Anders stood in front of him, hands shoved in his pockets and an odd look on his face, salaciously eying Lee's v-neck sweater. Lee fought the urge to cower in his chair.

"Hey," said Anders, his voice distant and dreamlike.

Lee opened his mouth and gaped fishlike until the words came up. "Can I - Is there something I can do for you?"

Anders shook his head. "No. I just wanted to say..." He licked his lips. Lee heard Dee's failed attempt at suppressing a giggle. "Nice shirt."

Dee had laughed for ten minutes, during which Anders had slipped away and had taken a seat at the bar, where he now ogled Lee along with the rest of the men.

"Anders," she gasped proudly. A new addition to the list.

Lee sulked. "I need to get off this ship."

Re: Gender-swap Prank

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

"This is making me very uncomfortable," said Ezra, arms crossed over his t-shirt, because he'd been able to veto the strapless evening gown at least.

Jordan grinned up at him from where he was strapping the heels to Ezra's feet. "I know." His hands were also wandering a bit too much for Ezra's mental equilibrium. One crept up to his knee, and then slid back down along his calf.

"Those are not my feet," Ezra squeaked.

"I know," Jordan repeated, his voice a purr.

It was at this point that Ezra kicked him.

Re: Gender-swap Prank

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

"So then, like, I hit the fucker in the nuts," Cath said, voice casual Valley. Mathew continued to listen with fascinated horror. "And, you know, he went tumbling down, at which point I totally pulled out the pepper spray."

"And what happened next?" he couldn't help but prompt.

"I called the cops, of course," she replied, peering at her handheld mirror and patting her hair into a slightly better position. "But not before putting a few more kicks in, you know, where they do their best."

Mathew nodded, waving a hand for her to continue. She did, all bright smiles and bubbly voice. Her make-up was perfect and ate the pizza with a fork and knife. The next boyfriend story was even worse.

This was quite possibly the best blind date ever.

Re: I'm totally going to academia hell for this one...

[lizfu.livejournal.com]

"I hate you," he growled, then gasped as the man thrust harder from behind. His toes spread and flexed as the man hit the right spot.

"You're a terrible liar," the man whispered in his ear, grasping his cock. He gasped again as he was pumped

The thrusts of their hips became synchronized, meeting one another mid-thrust. The man came first, and he followed shortly after. They collapsed into one another, sweat and limbs and semen.

***

"I have to get back to the wife. She'll wonder where I've been."

"Yes." A voice filled with displeasure.

"I'll tell her you said hello."

"No. That's quite alright."

"Same time next month, Ernest?"

"As usual, Francis."

---

OH YES, I WENT THERE!!! Their positions probably should have been reversed, maybe *shrugs*

For this, you get femslash

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

Sam ran a hand down her hips, paused at her thighs. "What would you like me to wear?" The closet doors were open to their left, sweaters and skirts and satin pants bulging out of its tiny space and beckoning to her.

"Nothing," Penny said, standing behind Sam in the mirror, and pressed her greasy lipstick into Sam's neck. Penny skimmed her fingers along Sam's stomach, pulled her close. Ran one hand lower, one higher, as she breathed soft in Sam's ear.

"I can't, I thought we were--" Sam got her breathing under control, though she couldn't help but lean into Penny's deft fingers. "I thought this was a make-over."

"It is," Penny assured, fingers firm and confident in places Sam had never let her longtime boyfriend touch. "But I didn't say of what."

Sam made a noise that even she couldn't identify as protest or encouragement.

"Really, Sam," Penny said, voice fondly amused as her eyes stared into Sam's in the mirror. "I told you to take off your underwear. I'm not subtle."

Sam couldn't help but agree.

Do you remember this picture?

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

"Oh my God," Ezra repeated. He'd been staring without blinking going on sixty seconds now.

Jordan grinned and gave a little spin, schoolgirl dress swishing around him. The crazy fucker had even shaved, smooth calves peaking out from the high green and black patterned socks.

"Oh my God," said Ezra for what was probably the twelfth time. He felt like a skipping record, and he could just not stop staring. Finally, mouth dry, he said, "Are you--do you--?"

Jordan stalked forward and shoved him to the bed.

"Oh my God."

"If I'd known I could get you this brain damaged with just a costume, some make-up, and strategic application of Nair, I'd have done this ages ago," Jordan confessed. He licked along Ezra's neck, then took advantage of knowledge given in one of Ezra's weaker (and drunker) moments as he rubbed Ezra's ears.

"Oh my God."

"Seriously, it's just getting worrisome now," said Jordan, sitting up with some alarm.

Ezra just stared and stared at the crazy, crazy bastard. "I'll never be able to get this image out of my head. You've ruined me."

Jordan frowned and tilted his head to the side as if translating Ezra's words into his own strange language. Then he smirked in the most annoying way and reached into Ezra's pants. "It's okay, I'll let you dress up next time."

And for once, Ezra leaned back and failed entirely to hit him.

Re: Genderswitch: Guy and Kakashi - OH GOD!

[lizfu.livejournal.com]

Their first kiss had been an awkward stumble towards sexuality: scraping teeth, nervous lips that twisted and contorted as they tried to find out how they fit together, tongues unsure of what they should do once in the other's mouth. They had kissed in a tree, hiding from their respective teams in between a mission.

It had taken three months before Kakashi let Guy touch her breasts. Guy marveled at the softness under her hand, how it fit perfectly in her grip, easy to massage. It has like Guy's breast but at the same time not. A squeak escaped Kakashi has she squeezed a nipple.

The next day, Kakashi pushed Guy on her back and hesitantly slid her fingers under Guy's spandex jumpsuit via neck, stretching it, until she reached Guy's breasts. The spandex ripped.

Their first time came a few months later after a particular difficult mission in which Guy and her team almost didn't make it back alive. Guy stumbled into Kakashi's apartment at 2AM and took Kakashi in her arm, pressing her lips against her lover's with urgency and desperation. Kakashi responded likewise, and 3AM found them naked, hands on and inside another, breath mingling.

----

Sorry - I wanted to write femslash fluff of the first time variety that was also horrific. If they were girls, they would probably be competitive still....

Re: Genderswitch: Guy and Kakashi - OH GOD!

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

["that was also horrific"--why must you always be hating on my otp even as you write and draw it? Though the spandex thing was awkward. Oh, young Kakashi. If you don't learn to respect the spandex, you'll never get laid. And yes, Guy would still be extremely competetive.]

--

"Okay, Architect, I've fixed your power source. Now it's your turn to hold up your end of the bargain--where's my transport?"

"You're not nearly so altruistic, Luk, as you pretend around your friend." Magra spoke as she pulled out a remote and handed it over.

"He's not my friend," Luk replied, practically snatching it out of her hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry, should I have said 'fucktoy'?"

Luk gave her a long-suffering look. "It's not like that."

"Right," Magra agreed, amenable now that she had what she wanted. "Come back in another few years and tell me the same thing."

Luk pressed a few buttons on the remote. "That assumes I'd want to come back at all."

Magra allowed herself a small smile as Luk disappeared, then a full out smirk once he was gone. "That assumes you'll have a choice at all."

Re: Genderswitch: Guy and Kakashi - OH GOD!

[lizfu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I forgot that spandex is really frickin' hard to rip after I pressed "Post Comment". I screamed in impotent rage and then decided that since Kakashi is a ninja, she might have the strength/tenacity to rip it.

Re: Genderswitch: Guy and Kakashi - OH GOD!

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

"I'm going to kill you when I get out of here," Zach said. "Children will weep and the ground will split open and blood will rain from the sky." Zach continued to detail the imminent results of having incurred his wrath, another sign of his being out of his mind on drugs. Luk was almost proud, if Zach would just stop throwing himself at the bars of his cage.

"Blood from the sky!" Zach repeated insistently. "Virgin Mary's tears!"

"And the return of Lolbet and the complete destruction of the Confederation and Republic both, yes, yes, I know," said Luk soothingly.

Zach nearly frothed with rage. Luk smiled and checked the time. He would have another five minutes before Zach would start remembering what happened. Best to take advantage of the opportunity presented.

Luk poked Zach again with the Detox Stick.

Re: Genderswitch: Guy and Kakashi - OH GOD!

[lizfu.livejournal.com]

XD

I bet Luk is enjoying this XD

I wish I had a Detox Stick....

Re: Genderswitch: Guy and Kakashi - OH GOD!

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

It's like all his Christmases come at once.

You only need to use the Detox Stick once. Anything after that is just unnecessary cruelty. Which, uh, is why Luk only used it once. Right. Who knows how those other bruises got there?