So much fail.

[tuesdayficarchived]

So my lost purse with my debit card (now hot carded) and I think with A Movable Feast (thankfully already finished, though I'm one of the few in my class who likes it, damn it)? Also had my flash drive in it. And I hadn't sent important paper to my prof while all fucked up with sleep dep like I thought I had. And it was only on that lost flashdrive.

So! I'll be writing more than one paper while staying up tonight. What does this additional bit of stress mean? My loss is your gain.

Drabble trading. Yes, I know I had prompts open, but they're closed except to someone who'd asked about a fandom before I wrote this entry. This is more stress than usual, and I need something to keep me from hiding in the library basement's bathroom and never, ever, ever coming out again. There are sinks in that bathroom, and a surprisingly clean floor. I could make it until starvation set in, and so few people come along it would be years before they found my body.

You write me one drabble (and I'll be loose in the definition of this), and I'll write you two--basically, I write one, you write one, I give you another. Rinse and repeat for however long you like. I'm crossposting this with my fandom journal.

And . . . go!

ETA: Tomorrow, 4/24/2008, at 11:59:59 p.m., the drabble trade will officially be Over. By which I mean I will answer any submitted before that time with the two to one deal, but merely admire and feedback any submitted after. Because of this, you can submit as many as you want without waiting for me to catch up (and even make vague suggestions I might follow for my responses). So. Last chance. TWO TO ONE. GO!

(If I'm flooded, I'm going to try to have all my responses back by the end of finals, but I make no guarantees other than there will be responses to everything submitted before 12:00:00 4/25.)

Closed

Comments

And second one! (Because you know about it, but it will never be finished, hokage!Lee AU snippet)

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

Shino knew this was bad, had known this was bad even before Rock Lee had appeared without the Hokage's cap or his weights, flying in like some avenging god, but even then knowing it couldn't be enough, not with so many away.

When one more shinobi turned her attention Shino's way than he had resources to deal with, his only reassurance was that the rest of his team was on the Hinata rescue mission, and if it had gone well, they would appear after the worst of the damage was done and all that was left was cleaning up the mess. There was nowhere left to retreat, so he stood, watching, as she drew closer, around what was left of his hive attacking what was left of his attackers. Shino wasn't afraid to die--it was a fact of shinobi life--and he wanted to face his death with his chin up and eyes forward.

So he didn't miss a thing when a blur of fur and teeth slammed into her, tore out her throat with one quick, messy spray of blood. When Akamaru turned, muzzle coated in red and eyes flashing, he was one of the most beautiful things Shino had ever seen.

"Hello, mutt," Shino said calmly. "Where's your--" He paused, eyes narrowed, to direct his hive in part back to him for defense, and part to aid other offensive efforts. He ignored the mess of bodies where his previous attackers lay, eyes scanning the battlefield.

There were Lee's genin and two of Sakura's, working their way in tandem around the outskirts, stopping briefly to help where needed. Moegi had broken off from the returning group early on, on the opposite side to rejoin with Konohamaru.

Shino took off his glasses with one hand, and buried the other in Akamaru's fur. He thought briefly on what Kiba might have said. "Let's go kill things," he told Akamaru.

Akamaru whined once, high, in agreement.

Shino released him, and moved toward the largest threatening group, calling up all his inner reserves. It was a good day to destroy.

Re: And second one! (Because you know about it, but it will never be finished, hokage!Lee AU snippet

[(Anonymous)]

[ sorry if this seems stilted. Wrote this twice because first time it didn't want to post. TT ]

Gaara was fairly convinced that Lee wasn't stupid. Perhaps oblivious to the point of it being deliberate naievity; or maybe Lee just retained intillect in certain areas while greatly neglecting others, but Gaara was pretty sure that Lee wasn't inspid and didn't have a death wish. It still didn't explain the deluge of water dripping from his hair and smudging up the ink of the reports, strewn and floating across his suddenly flooded desk.

He carefully pried bits of deflated rubber from his hair and stood, chair spinning, and stalked to lean out the window. Lee waved excitedly up at him from several stories below and hefted another water balloon.

"Gaara," Lee called, striking a pose from below as several Genin raced past him shrieking and threatening one another with the unusual not-quite-weapons, "come join the fun!"

"Fun...?" Gaara shook his head and scowled as water went raining from his hair. He reminded himself, yet again, that Lee wasn't brain-damaged. Maybe the Suna heat was just too much for him.

"Yes!" Lee nodded as he squeezed the balloon in his fist and grinned, "come down and join me in the Springtime Of Our Watery Y--wagh!"

Gaara watched with supreme satisfaction as Lee plowed face-first into the soaking desert grass underfoot, under a surprise ambush of several dozen water balloons, and made a mental note to give his ANBU a pay raise. Even if they were breaking several rules on water conservation.

Re: And second one! (Because you know about it, but it will never be finished, hokage!Lee AU snippet

[zorame.livejournal.com]

*points up* Zorame btw. XD;

And the card game I created in one fic crops up elsewhere (and will again in the future)

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

[ahahah, I love that Gaara's ANBU defend his honor.]

Red, blue, green. Lee flipped through the cards quickly, eyes shifting from one to the next to the next, before starting all over again.

"Hurry up and choose," came Neji's bored voice.

"I, I will!" Lee promised, fingering first the blue card, then switching swiftly back to the red. "Any moment now."

If he chose the blue, then he might still be able to--but no, what if Neji already had the shadow puppets? Lee would be utterly destroyed. Maybe the green? But he knew Neji was in possession of the Second and Third, and that way seemed certain death. That left the red, but it was entirely possible that--

"Don't choose the red one," Naruto spoke directly in Lee's ear, leaning over his shoulder to examine his cards.

Neji directed his deadpan glare Naruto's way. "You're out of the game. You're not allowed to help."

Naruto grinned at him. "I'm out of the game, so I can help as much as I want."

Tenten grimaced. "We all know Neji's going to win anyway. Give up already, Lee, so we can stop playing this damn game."

"No, I can still do this!" said Lee. "I won't give up!" He chose the red one.

Tenten groaned and said, "Typical."

It really, really was. From the other side of the red, Gaara of the Sand glowered back at him. This was what came of playing the new Assassins deck, Lee thought mournfully. Death by desert coffin.

"I don't actually look like that," said Gaara, leaning over Lee's other shoulder.

Neji put down his cards, allowing himself a small smirk that drove Lee insane. "He never needs to quit for me to beat him."

"I told you," said Naruto. "Red is your one true weakness."

Lee stared at Gaara--still leaning over his shoulder and brushing lightly against his back, entirely too close--and supposed it was kind of true.

second one

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

The wind blew, stung his eyes, whipped his hair against his face. Fallen leaves fluttered past and crackled under foot. Lee twisted the band of metal between his fingers, white gold so bright in the dim light it almost hurt his eyes.

"I didn't think," he stuttered, stopped. He stood there several minutes, breathing in the crisp air in deep, unsteady breaths.

"I didn't think," he reiterated.

The cool fingers on his arm were almost warm compared to Konoha's fall.

"I don't blame you," said Sakura.

"Yes," said Lee, unable to stop himself from looking up to see no one there. "I blame myself."

Re: And the card game I created in one fic crops up elsewhere (and will again in the future)

[zorame.livejournal.com]

The infant was premature, covered in horrifying fluids, and choking on the lifeblood of it’s mother. Three minutes into it’s life, a second victim was added to it’s already alarming body count when a medi-nin tried to swab it’s mouth and nose and suction out congested lungs. With rattling cough and squeak the baby squirmed, and the woman fell back shrieking and convulsing, half her face missing beneath a seething wave of sand.

The fourth watched dispassionately, and felt nothing but repulsion. The child did not cry, instead it blinked and gently fisted small, sticky fingers, and shivered between the pale and cooling legs of the first of what would be an impressive tally of deaths that were Entirely His Fault.

“Gaara,” the Fourth murmured to himself. Unaware of his destiny, the baby burbled and kicked one foot, and blinked up at the ceiling.

Maybe sometimes Team Guy got fed up with all the work

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

On the first morning of the Revolution, Guy-sensei finally appeared, his horrified face gazing down through the screen of branches and leaves above their shelter. "What are you doing?" he asked, voice calm for someone observing their bodies caked in mud and not much else.

"Mud fight!" Lee giggled and flung a clump straight at Guy's face.

"You little punk!" Guy shouted, and he and Lee began sparring, if sparring was what you could call facing a still-tipsy Lee who spent as much time attacking the bushes and trees as his opponent.

Tenten murmured and rolled over, right into Neji's lap, as if matters couldn't possibly deteriorate further. Staring wearily around at the empty bottles and missing clothes, Neji decided that he was never taking Tenten up on a drinking challenge again.

Gender-swap Prank

[zorame.livejournal.com]

“Whoa…”

Naruto prodded his chest and then grinned widely, “this is so cool.

“That is not the word I would use Naruto,” Lee yipped as he folded his arms tightly across his chest and flushed. “Embarrassing, humiliating, unyouthf-“

“Freakin’ awesome,” Naruto agreed as he swept his arms right, “behold! My tits are like three times bigger’n everyone else’s here!”

Shino made a small choked sound and swiveled, trying to catch sight of his own ass, which had sprouted dispraportionally as the weight had swept from his entire body and centered there, and his chest. What had been a loose-fitting sweater now strained at the buttons.

Kiba for the most part was too busy cackling to himself and bouncing up and down to take much notice in Shino’s horrific predicament.

“I think it’s awful,” Sakura raged, “why the hell do I have a beard now? Whose sick idea of a joke is this?!”

Jiraiya wisely said nothing at all, and tried to figure out where Kakashi and Gai had gotten off to.

YOU KNOW I CANNOT RESIST THIS

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

"Fuck, Guy," said Kakashi. What Guy could see of Kakashi's face through the hand clamped over his mouth was redder than Guy had ever seen it before, like sakura in full blossom. Kakashi's eyes were wide open and staring down at Guy.

Guy smirked and returned to what he was doing. Kakashi moaned, and buried both hands in Guy's hair, spreading his legs wide. "Multiple orgasms," he mumbled. "Who knew?"

When Naruto burst in, shouting something happily about a cure, Kakashi had to be held down so he wouldn't kill his erstwhile student. Naruto impeded these efforts at preserving his own life by insisting, "no, really, I want to die."

When Sakura wandered in to see what all the noise was about (and why they hadn't assembled for their cure yet) and saw the situation, Naruto very nearly got his wish.

Re: YOU KNOW I CANNOT RESIST THIS

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

Guy ran his fingers along Kakashi's cheeks, his lips, traced the length of his nose. He pressed kisses along Kakashi's temple, his jawline, staring, endlessly staring as he committed every inch of skin to memory.

"God, Guy, it's just a face," said Kakashi finally, pushed Guy away to glare fiercely. "If I don't get to at least second base tonight, I will kill you."

Guy knew his smile had long since gone goofy, but he couldn't help it. Guy leaned in and finally touched their lips together. Then, for Kakashi's sake (and okay, maybe his own), Guy skipped straight to third.

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

"So that's it," said Neji, watching as Naruto spun Sakura around and around. Any moment, she would probably punch him and make someone else dance with her a while, but for now she was smiling with fond tolerance, her arms wrapped loose around his neck.

"Yes," said Lee, staring into the pink fruit punch Neji had placed in his hands after Lee had snagged some of the champagne. Not only did Neji have to stand here and watch this, he also had to keep an eye on Lee because Tenten had snuck off somewhere with Kankurou, visiting as part of Sand's representatives at the Hokage's wedding, and Guy had already left with an unusually inebriated Kakashi slung over one shoulder.

"Let's get out of here," Neji said.

"It would be rude!" Lee protested. Neji eyed Lee, the way that he gripped his flute of punch tight, but not too tight; the ridges of his hunched in shoulders; the complete discomfort and control that he embodied at that moment. The green tie didn't look too bad, and Lee would fill out his suit a lot better if he would stop hunching over. His lips were a deep red from whenever he lost a little control and worried it softly between his very white teeth.

And really, he could do a lot worse, Neji thought, looking back out at the dance floor, where Sakura was already pushing Naruto laughingly away to go sit by the chairs with Ino again. Naruto hadn't stopped grinning helplessly, and he looked like he might try to spread that good cheer elsewhere at any moment.

If nothing else, Neji could give Lee the champagne and they could beat the fuck out of each other. The night would yet tell whether it came to that. He gripped Lee's wrist in his hand, tugged in a way that he wouldn't have touched anyone but a member of his team (or someone now categorically forbidden).

"Really. Let's get the hell out of here." And maybe it was his words, or the look in his eyes, but this time Lee followed without protest.

And another one, Just Because

[zorame.livejournal.com]

Thirteen years, six days, twenty-one hours and fifteen minutes.

Gaara shifted further back into the uncomfortable high-backed chair and squinted up at the clouds instead. The sun pelted down obscenely bright on everything beneath, scalding the dry Suna earth into cracks and furrows. Around them was a familiar smattering of battered-looking catacombs, and family crypts carved over several generations, complete with well-worn crests of arms and trinkets.

What made this death so much more important than the rest? He briefly flicked his eyes back to the priest. He knew of last rites; they were part of the standard training of any Shinobi. He’d given no such respects to any of his victims. He’d never bothered wondering if any of their relatives had to sit through dry ceremonies.

“At my funeral,” he asked Temari afterwards, quiet fingers tangled in her sleeve, “will they talk about how I was a good person and that I will be missed?”

“Of course they will Gaara,” Temari nodded and rubbed at bloodshot watery eyes, and tried to smile.

and now for something a little different

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

Ash fell from the sky like snow, drifting softly and clinging to all it touched. Drifts of it piled against the trees. The people scurrying about wore heavy cloaks and cloths over their faces where they weren't covered in masks.

There was only one tent, and all the children and wounded shared its cramped space. It was originally meant to be the command center, but the fourth had decided, eyes shifting between his ANBU and those who'd fled the village when it been set afire, that those able to walk and talk could do so just as easily outside as in.

"The fires in the north sector are under control," someone in a mantis mask reported. "And half the med-nin are prepared to move further south."

"And my wife?" Minato asked, eyes flitting back to the tent.

"They say he's a boy," the ANBU reported. "He was born just under an hour ago."

Minato nodded and allowed himself one aching second to feel like a proud father rather than a fool unprepared and inadequare to the tasks yet ahead. "Right," he said. "Bring him to me."

"Are you sure?" the ANBU asked. His voice was flat, emotionless for the real question he was asking.

Aburame's wife was expecting, Minato knew. She'd been one of the first withdrawn from the village. Aburame had also been out on the battlefield several times already. Of Kohoha's shinobi, he was maybe one of the few who might understand.

Minato laughed and ran a shaking hand through his hand. "No," he said. Then, "yes. Yes, I have to be." He drew himself up. "Bring me the--bring me my son."

The ANBU nodded and withdrew without further words.

Re: Second Guy/Kakashi

[tuesdayfic.livejournal.com]

Naruto punched Sai right in his pretty boy, too smug, annoying, annoying face. Then Naruto shook his hand a few times, because Sai hadn't bothered to dodge at all, and he hadn't actually expected to connect.

Sai held his nose and said, "Satisfied?"

"NO." Naruto continued to glare, and Sai smirked a little despite the fact he was bleeding all over in a very unattractive (and dare he say, annoying) way.

"Good," said Sai, wiping away some of the blood. "Because I'm going to prove or disprove my theory, No-Dick."

Naruto blanched and held up his hands. "Let's not do anything hasty here."

Sai's smirk was no less reassuring when it stretched wide across his face and went distinctly predatory in way he had to've learned from too much time with Sakura or Ino.

"Don't worry," he said, stalking forward. "Like that love tap,"--and Naruto was going to kill the person who taught Sai that phrase--"this has been building for a while now."

Kissing someone with a bloody nose was gross, Naruto ultimately decided. Very gross. What was even worse was when that same extremely annoying person stuck his hand unexpectedly down your pants.