tuesdayficarchived: (supernatural)
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Title: Tell Me That You'll (Open Your Eyes)
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,070 words
Summary: "Dean, look at me," Castiel's voice whispered soft and low in Dean's ears, dragging a curl of pleasure down Dean's spine at the sound alone.
Notes: This is quite possibly the most sappy, embarrassing shit I have ever written. I feel horrified on Dean's behalf. I feel horrified on my behalf. There is only one path this fic leads down, and that is one of ruination. You have been warned. I actually wrote most of this to Undisclosed Desires, which is my Castiel/Dean theme song right now, but for the content, it may as well have been Open Your Eyes. Written for [livejournal.com profile] shirozora for a personal exchange. ([livejournal.com profile] shirozora, I can only apologize for this.) This fic's handwaving moment brought to you by: the whole vessel and consent issue. I really do have Jimmy fic in the works and fic dealing with the possible loss of Jimmy between Castiel's last scene in S4 & his first scene of S5, but this isn't any of those fic. You can choose your own handwaving explanation (from: Jimmy never existed and Castiel's vessel is his own, lalala, to: Castiel woke up without him), but for the purposes of this fic, he is not a factor. Alternate links on Dreamwidth and AO3.

--


"Dean, look at me," Castiel's voice whispered soft and low in Dean's ears, dragging a curl of pleasure down Dean's spine at the sound alone. His breath puffed warm against Dean's chin with every word. "Open your eyes."

Dean always tried to keep his eyes closed when he bottomed, his mouth shut, teeth grinding together as he choked back embarrassing, horrifying noises, pride warring with a near endless need.

"Dean." Castiel's lips pressed soft against Dean's mouth, his chin, the small, sensitive corner where his jaw met his ear. His tongue flicked against Dean's earlobe, then his teeth gently tugged at it, and Dean could feel every breath like a brand across his skin. "Dean."

The sound Dean made in return was not a whimper, but it was a close call.

In response, Castiel slowly eased back in, moving at a torturous pace, like they had all the time in the world; like it wasn't the fucking apocalypse, there were no angels after them, and they were the only two beings left alive; like this cheap motel room with its lumpy mattress and scratchy sheets was the entire expanse of the universe. He moved so slowly that Dean couldn't help but be painfully aware of every dragging centimeter as Cas pressed in. Dean's knees were thrown over Castiel's shoulders, his thighs practically pressed to his chest, and he felt every minor movement along the entire length of his body. Castiel slid in the rest of the way and just rested there a moment, pressed his forehead to Dean's. His hair brushed Dean's temple, an unsteady, teasing itch that failed to distract from how Dean felt like one long sensitive flayed out nerve laid bare before Castiel.

"Dean," Castiel whispered, voice grating low this time, and Dean was grateful to catch the ragged edge in Castiel's voice, to know that Dean wasn't the only one so affected that it felt like he was shaking apart inside, each sound and touch setting off sparks and miniature supernovas in his chest. No matter the calm, measured way Castiel rocked in and out of Dean, Dean wasn't alone in his fierce desperation. Dean's hands clutched at Castiel's hard, smooth shoulders like a lifeline, but Castiel's voice shook as he said: "Please."

"I can't," Dean said, voice raw, each heady instant of pleasure cracking him further open and leaving him exposed, like a hermit crab being pried steadily from its shell. "I can't, Cas, I can't—"

Castiel's lips covered Dean's own, his tongue nudging Dean's mouth open and sliding in like a counter-argument and a comfort rolled into one. His kisses kept to the same devastating pace as his thrusts: he carefully mapped Dean's mouth like he was committing every inch to memory, was planning to move in and stay a while.

When Castiel finally pulled his mouth away, Dean's breath was a harsh, wild thing rattling through his chest; his hands were clenched so hard into the wings of Castiel's shoulder blades, Dean was sure he was leaving bruises; and still Dean couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. Dean felt Castiel bury his face into the side of Dean's neck, Castiel's nose digging softly into tendon, each exhale like a brief warm fog against his skin. The noises Castiel made now were nothing like words, and he shifted, changed the angle so that the next roll of his hips hit that spot deep inside Dean, drew aching pangs of pleasure with every subsequent thrust.

Dean was saying the most embarrassing shit, now, outright begging for Castiel to thrust harder, move faster, give him anything, so long as it was more. "Whatever you want," Dean promised rashly, barely hearing his own words over the rushing staccato of his pulse pounding in his ears. "Anything."

Something keen-edged and dangerous was unspooling deep inside him, and every grounding touch of Castiel's hands was undone with each sharp stroke driving in. And the thing that killed Dean was that Castiel didn't ask, demanded nothing in return as he mouthed at Dean's neck, his cheek, his ear, anywhere he could touch without letting up his steady, implacable pace. Castiel never asked when Dean got to this point, never forced the issue once Dean was reduced to this writhing mess of need. He didn't ask, and so Dean couldn't help but give it to him.

This close up, Dean could see each individual strand of Castiel's hair, could watch the thin, pale light of the lamp burnish the dark locks a softer brown and dance along the crown of his head with every trembling movement. It graced the stubbled planes of Castiel's cheek and jaw, traced the arc of his nose and caught at the curves of his lips where his face wasn't cast into shadow. Dean wanted to follow wherever the light touched with his lips, chase the shadows with his fingers, his tongue. He wanted to sprinkle reverential kisses along Castiel's brow, press them gently against the delicate fan of his eyelashes, drop them into the corners of Castiel's chapped lips like a light, unsteady rain. Looking, Dean wanted so much more.

Castiel stared back, because after all this time, Dean had never been able to train him out of watching like he was peeling back layers to strip Dean's thoughts bare, like all the shed clothes and slick skin and sliding together was foreplay for this, this exact moment as Castiel locked their gazes and looked at Dean like he could see him right down to the soul. It was even more embarrassing than the begging, the way Castiel communicated with eyes alone his acceptance, his affection, his unwavering regard. Normal people just didn't do that.

"Dean. I have you," Castiel said softly, his voice a soft burr in Dean's ears, one small final nudge that shredded the last of his defenses. "Let go."

"Shit," Dean managed weakly, and that was it, he was gone, the aching spiral in his stomach snapping suddenly and racing like lightning down his spine, scattering across every nerve and drawing tight every muscle, and still Dean couldn't close his eyes, couldn't tear his gaze away. Castiel watched him through it all, eyes soft, the thin line of his mouth gentle, as he whispered words Dean couldn't quite hear through the aftermath.

Castiel only relented and finally—finally—released Dean from that too intimate stare when he closed his eyes and followed after.

Date: 2010-03-11 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xephwrites.livejournal.com
OMG! This was simply delicious!! love how you describe everything! Beautifully hot!

Date: 2010-03-11 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Date: 2010-03-11 04:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] awakencordy.livejournal.com
waow this was amazingly good!

Date: 2010-03-11 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2010-03-11 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityofone.livejournal.com
Mmm, I love this. Dean's sexuality/intimacy issues are always of interest to me, and this was extra extra scorching. Consider me happily ruined.

Date: 2010-03-11 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Dean's sexuality/intimacy issues are always of interest to me
I'm sure my own interest is obvious from this fic, but yes, this.

Thank you for reading!

Date: 2010-03-11 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loquitor-mortis.livejournal.com
Very beautifully written and wonderfully paced. Loe how the charcters are so fragile yet intimate. Wonderful. :)

Date: 2010-03-11 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2010-03-11 05:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insight2.livejournal.com
Oh, I do not see embarrassing sap here! I liked this, the sensuality, the neediness, and the slow unwinding way that Dean finds trust in Cas- so fragile.

Also,

Dean's knees were thrown over Castiel's shoulders, his thighs practically pressed to his chest, and he felt every minor movement along the entire length of his body. Castiel slid in the rest of the way and just rested there a moment, pressed his forehead to Dean's. His hair brushed Dean's temple, an unsteady, teasing itch that failed to distract from how Dean felt like one long sensitive flayed out nerve laid bare before Castiel.

THAT POSITION- HOT LIKE BURNING!

Date: 2010-03-11 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Dean finds it terribly sappy, so I cannot help but feel the same. So embarrassing! And yet, I find his issues with intimacy interesting, so it's pretty much my own fault. *grin*

Date: 2010-03-11 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amerikangothic.livejournal.com
Aaah, I love a little smut with my coffee...

...not that I would call this smut, it's too well written, the thoughts and emotions too delicately rendered, striking a nerve, to call it something crass like "smut." This is a really wonderful read, makes ya feel warm and tingling in all the right places...

Date: 2010-03-11 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Gabe! *stares happily at your icon*

Thank you for reading!

Date: 2010-03-11 05:43 pm (UTC)
ext_426902: (Default)
From: [identity profile] destielwincest.livejournal.com
That was possibly the hottest thing I've read in a very long time.

Date: 2010-03-11 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2010-03-11 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phar-ahkmenrah.livejournal.com
*nosebleed* O.O

BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Date: 2010-03-11 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you for reading!

Date: 2010-03-11 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catty-the-spy.livejournal.com
Don't be embarassed. God, I'd pay good money to read this.
Castiel's lips covered Dean's own, his tongue nudging Dean's mouth open and sliding in like a counter-argument and a comfort rolled into one. His kisses kept to the same devastating pace as his thrusts: he carefully mapped Dean's mouth like he was committing every inch to memory, was planning to move in and stay a while.

Damn, I'd pay good money to experience this shit.
*shudders*
*bookmarks*

Date: 2010-03-11 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Damn, I'd pay good money to experience this shit.
The wonders of fiction, right? *grin*

Thank you for reading!

Date: 2010-03-11 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dastiel-gal.livejournal.com
I think you got "sappy" mixed up with "beautiful and moving". Just sayin'.

I'm sure Dean would find this *beyond* mortifying, but we all know what problems he has with the expression of emotions other than anger. You? Have no need to feel embarrassed.

Date: 2010-03-11 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
I'm sure Dean would find this *beyond* mortifying, but we all know what problems he has with the expression of emotions other than anger. You? Have no need to feel embarrassed.
I have this problem with feeling embarrassed on a character's behalf, but for some reason I keep writing fic wherein Dean spends at least part of it absolutely mortified. He just does it so well!

Thank you for reading!

Date: 2010-03-11 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citizencandy.livejournal.com
*sniff* so beautiful and hot and wonderful and heartwarming and amazing and... *robs thesaurus of awesome synonyms* *mems*

This was so sensual <3 <3

Date: 2010-03-11 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! ♥

Date: 2010-03-11 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mulder200.livejournal.com
Ah! I think you are being too hard on yourself. This was awesome!

Date: 2010-03-11 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2010-03-12 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] escilas.livejournal.com
That? Was not sappy. That? Was beautiful and hot and awesome. Nice to see Dean let go of his pride and apprehensions with Castiel. Really, really liked it, very well written :)

Date: 2010-03-12 01:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you for reading! (Sorry, I was logged into the wrong journal at first.)

Date: 2010-03-12 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zoemathemata.livejournal.com
That was lovely!

Date: 2010-03-12 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2010-03-12 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] invisiblelove.livejournal.com
Aww, poor Dean. Feelings are scary ;) In all seriousness, this was lovely and definitely hot. Loved it!

Date: 2010-03-12 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Feelings are scary
And don't forget: intensely embarrassing! *grin* Thank you for reading!

Date: 2010-03-12 04:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twasadark.livejournal.com
Lovely fic that is skillfully written! Love Castiel's patience with Dean. &hearts

Date: 2010-03-12 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you! I love Dean, but Castiel is my favorite.

Date: 2010-03-12 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] build-the-moon.livejournal.com
Oh wow, this was soooo good.

<3

Date: 2010-03-12 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you! ♥

Date: 2010-03-12 05:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uwalumni2.livejournal.com
**Flails and drools...puddles of drool...**! I loved it! I visualized it all (yes...I am perverted..grin!) Wow! That was hot loving! I really love these two together! They are the best the best pair to me and you made their intimacy wonderful, even with Dean's intimacy issues :D Great job!

Date: 2010-03-12 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Dean's intimacy issues are so much fun as fic fodder.

Thank you for reading!

Date: 2010-03-12 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mithrel.livejournal.com
That was quite possibly the most poetic porn I've ever read. Dean really needs to get over whatever his macho crap is already.

Date: 2010-03-12 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you!

I'm going to restrain myself from tl;dr metaing at you about this, but I think (for the Dean I write, at least), it's less to do with "macho crap" and more to do with intimacy and trust issues that have been accrued over a really terrible lifetime and exacerbated by pretty much all of season four and bits of season five. But my fascination with said trust issues is something you don't really need me throwing at your inbox. *self-deprecating smile*

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] mithrel.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-03-12 04:35 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-03-12 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imisspadfoot21.livejournal.com
Oh wow! This is so beautiful and intimate. Lovely!

Thanks!!

Date: 2010-03-14 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you for reading!

Date: 2010-03-13 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ibroketuesday.livejournal.com
God, that was intense.

Date: 2010-03-14 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Your icon. *flails*

Thanks for reading!

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From: [identity profile] ibroketuesday.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-03-14 08:38 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-03-14 04:30 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] ibroketuesday.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-03-14 04:39 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-03-17 10:08 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] ibroketuesday.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-03-17 08:39 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-03-22 10:14 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-03-15 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] go-baby-gogo.livejournal.com
Wow, I never read PWP, but this? You managed to create a new genre of fic, really.
I never thought a fic beggining and ending in sex could be so *intimate*, in a sense that's deeper than bodily fluids.
Thanks!

Date: 2010-03-17 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Sex and intimacy aren't always connected, but I love fic where they are. Glad this worked for you.

Date: 2010-03-15 09:39 am (UTC)
ext_3277: I made this (Cas)
From: [identity profile] laura-trekkie.livejournal.com
That was lovely. Very hot and so sensual in the descriptions and the slow pace at the start.

Laura.

Date: 2010-03-17 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you for reading! Glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2010-03-24 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy-loo-who.livejournal.com
Guh. This is so raw and intense and real. I love it.

Date: 2010-03-24 05:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad I was able to make it work for you.

Date: 2010-04-03 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lazyastaroth.livejournal.com
Embarrasing????????????????? ¬¬ Its AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!! I'm awwww and all. Shit! xD

Date: 2010-04-04 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuesdayfic.livejournal.com
Dean's embarrassment totally got to me at the time of posting. I'm glad this worked for you! Thanks for reading.

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